It takes a lot for too little...

I read something really interesting from a friend's photo caption:

"...you'll have your heart broken probably more than once
and it gets harder every time... you'll cry because time is passing too fast....
so take [as many pictures as you can, laugh as hard as you can], and love like you've never been hurt..." -P.K.

He had a picture of a beautiful sunset for this caption. It was as awesome as he is.

I mentioned this because I've been thinking about life in general. How will my life go from here? Where will it lead me to? Where am I going? What am I apt to do?

I am usually an optimistic person--and I don't mean to be pessimistic, but the thought of the future scares the bejeezus out of me. I don't understand why I was given something that I've wanted for a looong time, but leaves me with something that I know will be gone sooner or later.

I know it takes time to decode the meaning of whatever life brings me, whatever God gives me--and all I have to do is be patient.

Patience...
I think this is by far the hardest and most challenging word in my dictionary right now. I can't seem to be patient. It just doesn't seem to be me. However, patience is not only a virtue, but it's something that can be developed. It's something that can be acquired. All I need is discipline and faith. I need faith that the special people in my life would be patient with me as well. I need faith and strength to know that I would not be hurt.

But, if I do get hurt, then all I have to ask is:

"is this really what you wanted? ...then I have to let you go."

...and to that, I would stick to a promise:
"I'll be keeping all my fears, though I'm drowning in my tears with the thought of a life without you... but if someday you'll need a friend, I PROMISE I won't let you down..."  

I learned that though life brings you many heartbreaks... it's okay to still love again--to love unconditionally like you've never loved before. Love doesn't need time.

And since I'm here... I declare that I love life, challenges, love... I love to love... because whatever hurt I would feel in the long run-- I would not regret (or at least try not to) the fact that I have loved and tried and fought. I took a risk--and whatever I don't get is wisdom I will gain.

To my Special J: Though I don't exactly know what love is,
and though I don't expect anything in return...
before it's too late--I just wanna say that I love you.

To all my friends: I love you all! And, thank you for being there! :-)

To my family: For all the support, love, and unconditional care, thank you and I love you.

<3

Mabelle / Maria