Okay, so I got time to think. Bad idea.
There are things that do not make sense to me. How can someone so supportive with almost everything his or her dear friends do (as long as it does not physically or emotionally hurt a person long-term) have so little support in return from the same friends?
I don't get it.
I've been told that I'm predictable and easy to know (ergo, entry below). I've also been told that I am too unpredictable and fickle-minded to understand. Doesn't that make me, in total, unpredictable?
Cutting to the chase, I don't think I'm that easy to know. I don't think any person is that easy to know. I used to say that I am an open book. But, really, I'm not. At least not anymore. I'm more of an unfinished continuously-revising book.
I found a happy place. Somewhere I could be at peace and be childish and be myself. I'm free to say whatever I want and do whatever I want. I've never had that before. I care about that happy place... so if that happy place chooses to vanish, I would let it go and hopefully find another happy place. I'm not saying it's easily replaceable, but I'm just saying, I care about it too much that I want it to be better for itself.
Now, intruding that happy place is a different story.
I choose not to finish this entry and just sleep on it,
Maria
