teardrops are liquid

"he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar" - Taylor Swift "Teardrops On My Guitar"

I've always had a friend. I once had a very close guy friend. Well, I made him that. It was almost forced, but it worked out anyway. It worked out in a way that we weren't more than just close friends. I hoped it would be, but it never did. Happiness is about being content, and I think it was better off being just that than the other way around. At least I'm near him, and I could be near him as long as I want to.

There are disadvantages and advantages for being just the close friend. I could be near him, talk to him about random things, share with him some bizarre and very nonsensical stories, tell him my secrets and would not be awkward about it, and a lot more. The only thing that I couldn't do is tell him what I feel, and isn't that what hurts the most? Not telling a close friend what I feel is like a never-ending flame-- everytime you see that person, it sparks back and seems to burn you heart bit by bit until you couldn't feel anything anymore. I know it's a bit brutal, but isn't it something like that? Does anyone know how this feels? Can anyone relate to what I felt?

Well, there was a time when I tried to stop that flame. I told him once, but jokingly. I wondered if he believed me. I was nervous at that time, but I just wanted it to be over with. I thought things would go a little bit roughly, and that I would risk a friendship that lasted for years yet seemed less like it, but things went a bit differently. He just stood there, listened then smiled, and said, "I know." I thought we understood each other. We continued on with our lives being friends. I thought I had what I've been thinking of for many nights. One day came after the other. He still stayed the same, nothing changed. Then he said to me, "I know you like me, well, you should, that's what every girl says." I didn't know what to say. Was I like the others? Was I one of them? Was I just like every other girl he knew? I didn't want to ask another question. I am like the others. I'm just another girl he knew. I am one of them.

Teardrops when mixed with water, are just the same matter. Teardrops are liquid. Just liquid.

-mi cherie