Life After College --

I was told (by myself) that I should write something light about what life is (or has become) after college...

Well... to me, it hasn't been too dandy.

It's been 6 LONG months now since I graduated from college. I am now an accountant working at a bank, the youngest, least experienced person in my department. Doesn't that sound awful? It's intimidating being the least experienced, least knowledgeable, dumbest person... and the list of let-downs goes on... in your group.

I used to be the best in the group. I used to be the person with the highest score, with the most ideas, with the most enthusiasm in any group. Most of the time. Or at least I was told.

I'm not an uber smart person; I had to work hard to get to where I am now. Back in college, I was a friggin genius compared to my peers. Or at least I was told.

Being a very conscientious person and being overprotected by my parents, I didn't party at all. I did not go out, did not break rules, focused on studies, had a routine, was fairly organized, did not stress as much as procrastinators did. I had a thing going on in my life as far as I could remember. And then senior-itis kicked in.

I did not break during my senior year. I had a boyfriend, an internship, and an upcoming graduation. It all fell apart shortly after I graduated. My first heartbreak (as readers could possibly tell from my entries way back), my consecutive failures, my unmotivated-ness.

I take it. It's harder to be out of college and let go when school was your life! I get that now.

I got a job, and then let go of that to go to another one. I was happier with the latest one. I am grateful to have gotten it because I've always wanted to be in a bigger company. Small companies don't work for me. I like being a nobody--to a point.

And so my boredom began and my being unmotivated got the best of me. I couldn't focus, but I took the first part of the CPA anyway, just to see if I could do it. And, lo and behold! Of course I can't. At least I tried, though.

Recently, I joined the theatre again. I performed again. It was awesome. I love being around the arts during my down days. It makes me happy.

So that's what I do now. I go out, I have fun. I try to compensate for all the times that I did not have fun in college. See, this is why balance is important. I'm just sorry that I wasn't able to have that balance (nor was I interested in it) in college. I've been a late bloomer all my life. So here I am-- just trying to loosen up.

Like I said, you don't realize these things until you ALMOST die. Twice. In one week.

Love to the nth,

Maria

***By the way, some people have made school their lives, but have been very successful after college. Like I said, I'm not that smart (just smarter than some people sometimes), and I don't have the drive to do what I want to do yet. I'll get there eventually, but right now all I can say is that life is short, and though I don't want it to be shorter, I'm not gonna just let it pass by either.