I'm waiting for that beep...

I'm waiting for that beep, that sound that goes off when you receive a text message.

I've been waiting for an hour now. Nothing.

This is ridiculous. I decided to give way, to open up my feelings to love, to be more open-minded about relationships and whatnot, but what do I get?? Anxiety, and basically, nothing.

Actually, I'm not assuming anything with this guy. He just wanted to be friends, and I let him be. He texted me frequently, and I texted back. He drunk texted me once, and I teased him about it. He teases me at school, and I could care less. We're friends, classmates, and nothing more. What's different is that now, I'm actually opening up to playing with guys. I compliment them, I talk to them, I make jokes with them, unlike before. Before, I kept to myself. They teased me, I teased them back once, and then I keep quiet and pretend I don't hear anything.

I don't walk with them, I avoid them.

This time around, I tried to be friendlier with this guy... I walked with him outside class, and he distances himself. I invited him to sit around with me in between classes, he doesn't text back (after he teases me about wanting to hang out with him. LOL.) what a joke.

I don't understand squat about boys anymore, and I guess, I should just go with the flow. Whatever it takes, wherever the road takes me.

I'm done with figuring out and being cautious. I'm just ready to be swept away. That's all. Thanks.

xoxo

shin min hee, tao lin, saitou miharu ::

MHABY