What if I never find myself again?

What if love would never ever show up?

What if I would never look at things the way they are anymore?

What if I'm just paranoid? Crazy? Overachieving? Boring?

These are things that I think about sometimes. It really is driving me crazy, if I'm not already.

I just feel that I'm doing everything right, yet it just all feel so wrong. I'm still totally confused on what my life is all about.
I feel that there is something that I really need to do, but haven't thought of doing it yet.

I feel that every day, drastic changes have been happening, but I'm just too blind and too slow to see it. I feel that I really am a procrastinator, and that there is no cure for it.
I feel unloved, but, really, there are many people around who love me--or at least they tell it out loud.
I feel that I shouldn't care, but I do.

I feel that I am different--but I don't want to be.
I don't want to be like everyone else, but I just said a completely different thing.

I am confused, obviously.

And I clearly don't know how to end this.