There are times when you get so bored out of your wits that you begin to bug other people for the sake of passing time. Most times you succeed at passing time with small talk--and hence, you gain nothing much--learn nothing much. I had something like this a loongg time ago, but I got more than I expected, and I'm not sure if I am still glad it happened even though it was better than I thought.
"Do you believe in destiny?" Someone asked me in the most obscure way and in the most random moment. I let it go the first time. I didn't think that it was something to dwell on, but I said 'yes' anyway because I do believe in destiny, though I didn't know why. I believe that there is some sort of divine intervention at times and fate just enjoys playing games, but I do not make this a big deal. Small or subtle things are often overlooked the first time.
"Do you believe in destiny?" The second time around I still thought it was a question. It was rhetorical, someone said. I never understood what 'rhetorical' meant. I never thought I would have to. Language is complicated if ignored and left uncleared. You say Math is incomprehensible? I think not. Asked me twice--I still said 'yes'.
"Do you believe in destiny?" Three times. I wondered what the deal was. Again, I answered 'yes'. Rhetoric? It's an art of persuasion, but is it a question in need of an answer? I did not comprehend. I continued to go on with the conversation because I just enjoy catching up with people I knew but did not have a chance to get to know more deeply, but at the time, 'deep' was something that did not enter my mind.
He asked the same question for four non-consecutive times. The fourth, I would not count because it seemed unnatural--I knew that it was coming. Like someone said, "the best price is a surprise." Now where did I get that from?
This question clearly did not bother me at the time. I took it as a pick-up line. Pick-up lines are traps I usually don't fall into--I should have known better...
Destiny...
Hmn...
If I were not bored that gloomy day, I would not have bothered this person. Much to my surprise (which by the way is the best price... haha! I said that already), we were on the same page. I liked how the conversation went. I was not in the mood to be giddy, so everything sounded serious to me and sarcasm was the key. I had a good time, but now I kinda regret it. Why? Because if things didn't happen like they did... I would not have fallen for someone far away through some highly technological channel. It's true, you wouldn't know the degree of sincerity of a person through instant messaging--hundreds of miles away. But, yes, and I do surprise myself at times by falling for someone in the most awkward situations.
I think fate was playing around, and I got caught. I guess I wasn't fast enough to catch the signs. Lucky him for he knew better. Unfortunate for me for still wondering what the HECK went wrong!!! I usually think logically. I usually disregard things like these, but I woke up one day thinking--OH GOSH, I can't stop thinking about it... what now?! It bothered me the whole darn day. I'm just glad it's over.
So yeah, it might have been destiny. But 'destiny' doesn't always mean good, does it? I mean if it's said that you were 'destined' for that person--does it have to necessarily mean you were meant to be together? Could it also mean that you were destined to be enemies with each other? Hmn... I don't know... but I do know that I am pretty disappointed with myself for falling off track with my rationality. But, hey, does love really need logic? I usually would say YES, but I just realized that I probably need more time to figure that out.
In the end, we decided that it was a one-time thing. He keeps his word--and I think he's right for doing so. I have no idea what's going on. I don't think I wanna know. I've been through this, but with a different person and in a different situation. However, this much I know...
I do believe in destiny...
But does he?
^_^
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